handeling uncomfortable holiday dinners

Ah, the holidays. A time for joy, laughter, family, and a substantial helping of stress. For gay men, the holiday season can bring unique challenges: navigating family dynamics, balancing expectations, and sometimes feeling like you're stuck without a happy ending. But don't worry; with the right mindset and a few handy strategies, you can make it through the season with your sanity (and your dignity) intact. We'll be posting our FAVORITE holiday survival tips throughout december. This week we'll talk about saving a disasterous dinner party, or holiday meal.

Mastering the conversational pivot

The holidays often mean family or work gatherings, which can be a double-edged sword. Maybe you're looking forward to Aunt Carol's famous pie, but you're dreading Uncle Bob's uninvited comments at the table. In situations like these, if you're dead set on going, I recommend the classic pivot.

When Uncle Bob says something offensive, pick out a non-controversial aspect or part of the question or statement and repeat it, then turn your vision to the other guests. This subconsciously does two things.

• -First, it has the potential to change the subject.
• -Second, it subconsciously throws the conversation into someone else's court.

This is likely to open up the conversation. If Uncle bob gave you absolutley nothing to work with, you can make a complimentary statement about Uncle bob, and follow up with a question to another guest. If you're in an entire group of people like Uncle Bob, you have to stop and ask yourself, "Why am I here?" If you can master this, it's a real lifesaver, I constantly use it. 

=Upton